Its another depressing day… I have no idea what I am doing with myself anymore. I watched a show earlier today and it triggered me really bad, now that is all I can think about. my life is hard. I dont like change and my biggest fear is rejection. I have no clue what to do anymore. I just cant seem to go out. I feel trapped in my depressing thoughts and I cant get out. it feels like i am drowning and part of me doesn’t want to come up for air, that same part just wants to sink to the bottom of the ocean and let the world move on. but I have my family who would miss me so I wont do that to them but still…I guess the saying stars can’t shine without darkness is true, but at the moment I dont see it. All I see is the darkness.